1. We believe that our obsessive processes of media production are inflected with aspects of professional activity.
2. It is our duty as Safe Dentists to fully excavate all physical functions.
3. We assume all members share our obsessive, all encompassing fanaticism for personal ambitions.
4. The Safe Dentist is allied to the past; it is of fundamental Modernism demanding conscious generation of faith. The Party proposes the public practice of auto-propulsive dematerialization for Mothers and Fathers that oppose our production and progress.
5. We reject fetishes and desires. We propose an aesthetic role in the actualization of the present and future.
6. Safe Dentism unites conscious activity with obsessions for private material forms.
7. While maintaining complete loyalty to the Party, the Safe Dentist shares in the founding of a mission dedicated to faith in nostalgia.
8. We aspire to be both an institution and an Establishment, complete with rules and rigour. Our headquarters is a Utopian cultural unconscious which manifests itself in its disaffection.
9. At all times there exists a cynicism from which we conduct and complete our ventures and campaigns.