afraid of being seen as 'dangerous, confusing' afraid of being seen as 'insane, dangerous' i still can't change my writing well i could but i don't know if i have the time maybe when i'm 60 - well i wanted to spread my work across preexisting systems (like hypertext), because as i said i won't be a reliable systems man until i'm 60, maybe i won't even be able to write a proper sentence until then - ideas of topography and planes and worlds in which words can exist comfort me, make much more sense than linear.
i described my writing as stories which "become dangerous - their scale exceeds manageable dimensions" at which point i begin to write like this in a burst and people say 'hey, why don't you think of presenting this some other way' so i open up my little chat window with 60-year-old me and he gives me some brief advice regarding systems, management of information / management of stories, maintaining a sense of impossible scale while reigning myself in to the realm of the 'readable'. and i say 'thanks old man' and he drifts away, smiling strangely.